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HOW TO TIE

Getting Started

A good way to start is with a silk scarf blindfold…

As in every aspect of life, likes vary from person to person. Such is true in the bondage community. Some like rope, others want tape, and still others prefer leather. What turns one person on may be fairly narrow in scope. Why consider using scarves? Like panties, another bondage favorite, they are worn by women, often next to their skin. Between their soft feel, particularly with silk scarves, and their smell, usually carrying the fragrance of the perfume favored by the woman wearing them, scarves can be very sensual and thus, an erotic bondage tool. But there are other, more practical, reasons to consider using scarves...particularly when starting out.

Bondage is outwardly dominated (pardon the pun) by men. It is our opinion that many women are interested in the subject, but are dealing with realistic fears concerning their safety. Men are typically the ones that suggest the idea to their date, girlfriend, or wife. If they feel safe with their partner, many (perhaps most) women will be agreeable to experiment with bondage... at least to see if they like it. How do you make a woman feel safe? What you don't do is immediately put her into a severe hogtie with handcuffs, rope and ballgag. Even if she is potentially interested in the more intense forms of bondage, that is not the best place to start.

How do you start? Be honest...tell her that you are interested in tying her up before or during lovemaking. Tell her that you want her to feel safe and comfortable. If being honest doesn't work, nothing will. Suggest starting with just a silk scarf blindfold...nothing to bind or gag her. After a session or two with a blindfold, suggest tying her hands in front of her with a scarf. She can pretend, with her hands above her head, that she is bound to the bed. Add more scarves to the bondage when she indicates she is ready for it.

What about gagging her? Many, if not most, women initially hate the idea of being gagged...most men are turned-on by it. Save the gag until she is comfortable with being tied up and then first suggest tying a silk scarf over her mouth. A scarf-gag tied over the mouth is comfortable for long periods of wear and can be modestly effective...this depends, of course, on the thickness of the scarf and how well it is tied. As time progresses, she may invite more effective types of gags...she may want to be effectively gagged so she can cry out with all her might.

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Other tips...until you are familiar with each other's tastes and limitations, always tell with your partner what you want to do before you do it. If she objects, don't do it...there is always another time. If she becomes uncomfortable or decides she wants to quit, stop at once and untie her. Let her tie you up if she wants to. Don't insist on tying her up for every lovemaking session. Using these tips will build trust between you and your partner...and trust is essential to maintain an ongoing relationship. (And for heaven's sake, don't grab the special Hermes scarf from her drawer and stuff it in her mouth without asking her first! In case you don't know...a new Hermes scarf costs nearly $300!)

We have made an assumption here that it is the man who wants to initiate the bondage. Obviously, that may not always be the case. The same basic tips apply for women. However ladies, if your man rejects the idea of being tied up or tying you up, there are probably a few thousand men on the Web who would like your e-mail address!

The bottomline is that scarves are a comfortable and erotic tool that can be used to tie, gag and blindfold your lover. Scarves are less threatening than ropes, chains, and other restraints and gags and thus, are a good way to introduce your partner to bondage.

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How to Tie Knots

Okay...so your lover says "Go ahead... tie me up" You do, and five minutes after you finish she is holding the handful of scarves (or rope) and says "I was hoping you could do better than that!" Want to know what will keep'em squirming on the bed? The diagram below shows how to tie all sorts of knots. 

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Basically, only 2 kinds of knots are used. The most important knot to learn is the square knot. A square knot is used almost all the time when tying 2 ends together.

Square knots are also easier to undo. If you don’t tie a square knot correctly, you’ll have tied a granny knot instead. You can use a half hitch knot, in a series(one after the other) when you only have one end to tie or to finish off a tie. An important note…if your partner experiences discomfort, untie them immediately. Don’t tie the scarves or ropes too tightly. Arrange ahead of time a word or (if gagged) a signal that indicates that they are truly in distress and need to be released immediately…and be prepared to release them if the word/signal is given.

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Gags

Keeping someone really quiet is a challenge. In the movies or on TV, a thin scarf between the teeth or over the mouth and the woman can’t alert a potential rescuer standing 10 feet away. In real life, it just isn’t that easy and in lovemaking, it may not be desirable. A pretend gag can be okay in lovemaking. For most guys, some gag is better than no gag whatsoever. So what do you need to keep someone reasonably quiet? You have to stop the noise at the source. This usually accomplished by tying something between the lips (a cleave gag), covering the mouth (an over-the-mouth gag), and/or stuffing something in the mouth.

A cleave gag is typically some type of cloth. To be effective by itself, it needs to be fairly thick and tied very tightly, which can be uncomfortable. After a while, cleave gags become rather damp. However, for looks, a cleave gag looks enticing on a woman…perhaps because her lips are still showing. Cleave gags also look secure…difficult to get off because they are between the teeth.

The over-the-mouth gag seals the mouth…a good example is the use of duct tape…simple to apply, reasonably effective, and comfortable…until you take it off. Tying a (thick) silk scarf over the mouth can also be effective, but it needs to be tied tightly…otherwise it will be easy to work off. It also needs to be wide enough…covering from the bottom of the nose to the bottom of the chin. If the band is too thin, your partner will be able to open their mouth, allowing the cloth to slip into the mouth where it will be very loose and ineffective. Adding an extra fold at the top and bottom of the folded band will make it less likely to slip. In general, the over-the-mouth gag is more effective that the cleave (using the same material), more comfortable, but is often less secure.

One should always be careful putting anything in someone’s mouth (and one should never be left alone when you gag someone in that manner)…however, stuffing the mouth significantly improves the gag. Obviously, if you stuff a handkerchief in someone’s mouth, they will spit it out as soon as they have a chance. Sooo…you need to combine the stuffed mouth with either the cleave or over-the-mouth gag.

The stuffed mouth, cleave gag needs to be thick and/or tied very tightly or your partner will use their tongue to work the stuffing out of their mouth. [Remember with time the stuffing will get wet and thus, smaller.] Using an over-the-mouth gag (including tape) eliminates this drawback…Of course, the over-the-mouth needs to be tied tightly, but is generally more comfortable. For cloth over-the-mouth gags, having your partner tying to push the stuffing out of their mouth actually makes it more difficult to remove the material covering their mouth.

Stuffing the mouth, while effective, can be dangerous. A way to get around this with cloth gags is to tie a knot in the cleave gag. The size of the "knot" can be increased by tying more knots in the cleave gag. This type of cloth gag then becomes similar to a "ballgag"…a rubber ball with a strap or cord to secure it.

There are many variations on the types of gags discussed above…including a variety of leather gags…we, of course, prefer using silk scarves…

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KSSP-TP1:
How To Tie Your Partner Video- $17

Featuring: Bambolina and Mysti Malone with narration by Bev (30 minutes long)

Ever wanted to tie and gag your partner and ...? Tying someone up is easy. Right? Actually most people really don’t know how to tie a square knot much less to erotically secure their partner. This video shows you step-by-step how keep your significant other helpless. Using soft and sensuous scarves as binding material, you too can have your partner at your "mercy". And if you are lucky, they will return the favor. If you are a knot master, this video is not for you. However, if you are like most folks experimenting with love bondage, you will find this video very helpful.


Click here to order this video.

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